The Scotland trip - Day 5 - Inverness and Loch Ness

6:51

Maybe I should wake my alarm clock?! I am awake, but the mobile won’t stir for another 39 minutes. I go to the loo and head back to bed. Breakfast is not until 8:30 and I do not have to be at the bus station before 10:00.

9:00

Breakfast was great. The starter consisted of a bowl of berries, followed by the main course, the “Highlander breakfast”. Luckily, it does not include haggis or black pudding. In the breakfast room, I encounter a German couple, a Spanish family, a lady from Edinburgh and a French family. Classical music was playing quietly in the background and the polished wooden floor was creaking with every step. This places oozes style! 

9:30

I successfully dawdled around some more. The weather forecast predicts that we will have some rain. It certainly looks overcast. Since the tour will include a boat ride on Loch Ness and an hour in the ruins of Urquhart Castle, I decide to play it safe. T-Shirt, shirt, fleece jacket and rain layer. As I step outside, it is a little warmer than expected.

10:00

The bus for the Jacobite tour is there. Our guide is George, he explains that there are two groups on the bus. The Passion and the Sensation tour - I hope that my camera lens won't steam up. I have booked the Passion tour which includes a half hour boat ride on Loch Ness, one hour at Urquhart Castle, one hour at the Loch Ness Centre. We pick up more passengers at two other stops and then we’re off.

The Jacobite Sensation tour

11:15

We’re on the boat. The sun is burning away the clouds. Loch Ness’s dark waters are glistening in the sun. The skies are blue. The hills are green. And I am starting to sweat like a pig. Urquhart castle has come into view. It’s all stunning! Yeah, alright, me sweating like a pig isn't.

Just arrived at the castle

11:30

We go ashore at Urquhart castle and are greeted by the sound of bagpipes. People climb up the small hill. The ruins are flocked with tourists who all run around, taking pictures as though their lives depend on it. And yes, I am one of them. We only have one hour after all. It seemed enough when planning the trip. At the time of booking, I had one thought lodged firmly in the back of my mind: having to explore the ruins of a castle in the rain would be a wee bit tedious. After 20 minutes, I am done with the pictures. I need the loo. George, our tour-guide told us we should really try and see the film that is shown at the centre. With an uncanny sense for timing, I only have to wait two minutes until the doors to the theatre swing open.

At Urquhart castle

12:15

I have skipped the café and the souvenir shop and walk up to the parking lot. 45 minutes was all I needed. Good thing I did not book the long tour.

12:30

We're at the Nessie Centre. It is all nicely atmospheric, we learn all about the Nessie phenomenon. If you treasure the magic and myth of Loch Ness, you might prefer to close ears and eyes though. No spoiler alert from me.

14:05

We're back in Inverness. I am feeling respectably peckish.

14:30

Late lunch at M&S. A sandwich, a bag of crisps, a coke and key lime desert. Bought fruit and something to drink for the evening. I do not feel like eating out again.

16:15

Strolled through the shopping centre, but I can't really buy anything. My backpack is pretty full as it is and I do not feel like carrying additional bags for the rest of the trip. I am already back at the B&B and track down my hosts to pay for the room.

16:30

Room is now paid. I also arranged for an earlier breakfast since my train will be leaving at 9:00 in the morning. My hosts are great! Incredibly helpful and accommodating with regards to breakfast. I also send off an inquiry for the taxi ride from Banavie to Fort William for the next leg of my tour.

17:00

It is too early to call it an evening. So, I head back into town, just walking around aimlessly. There is not much to do, apart from taking pictures and trying to pronounce the Gaelic street signs.

18:30

I am back at the B&B. It is time to rest because tomorrow will be tough and I will face the trickiest part of the journey. I will have to rely on two trains, one bus, one taxi and one ferry to be fairly on time. Since I will be travelling through the Scottish outback, I got enough cash to keep me afloat for  the next 24 hours.

The Scotland trip - Day 4 - Edinburgh and Inverness

6:57

Been awake for some time. When I check the watch, I curse myself. How come my alarm clock needs to wake me brutally at 7:30 in the mornings when I am working? And how come I am wide awake at 6:40 when I am on holidays?

7:45

Sorting my backpack. Reorganising everything.

9:10

Fairly rested and showered, I go out to have breakfast at the Castleview Rock Café on the Grassmarket. I don’t really feel like a Scottish breakfast, because I will get at least two of those in the next two days. So, I go for a cappuccino, a warm croissant with marmalade and muesli instead. The croissant is not all that convincing, but the muesli is lovely.

9:30

I am fed and cafed and decide to go for a digestive stroll to see if I can get a souvenir for myself in the form of an Edinburgh hoodie or a dagger.

10:15

The hoodies do not really convince me and I would probably have trouble squeezing one into my backpack. And the dagger is heavy, both weight and expenses-wise. I return to the hotel empty-handed to do the final packing. Then I turn on the TV, lie down and watch TV with half a brain and relax the other half and my muscles.

11:45

Time to check out. Latest checkout time is noon. I could leave my bag at the reception and stroll around some more since the train to Inverness only leaves at 13:35. But I can’t be bothered. I almost feel like a local already. It’s time to move, although I already know that I’d like to visit a second time.

12:15

Took some more pictures, walked around a little aimlessly, unsure how to spend the remaining time until my train is due. I go to Burger King and order a Kid’s Meal, eat leisurely, get some cash, go to Boots and buy something to eat and drink, as the train journey will take 3 ½ hours.

13:10

I go to the loo and join the rest of my fellow passengers to be, waiting impatiently for the platform to be announced.

13:20

The train moves forward on the board but no sign of which platform it should be on. All other trains, even the ones due to depart later, already have a platform assigned. Everyone around me is shifting whenever there is movement. A sure sign that they will be on the same train as I will be.

13:28

At last! Platform 15. A crowd of people storms towards the turnstiles, jostle through and storm towards the front four coaches… only to find that the doors are still locked. Inside the coach, a man is visible, putting the “reserved” slips up. The doors open and within 2 minutes, there is total confusion. The information on the slips claims that it is coach E, but we are in coach B. People decide to just sit down randomly. I am pretty sure that I got the right seat. The weather is warm and there are problems with the air-condition – it is kind of hot in here. And full. Opposite me is a mother with her two children. A boy and a girl. We start rolling.

14:10

We have left Edinburgh and Kirkcaldy. The kids are twitchy, keep asking, if they are there yet between scribbling postcards. They will not have to go all the way to Inverness and I breathe a sigh of relief. Inwardly of course. I like children. If they are well behaved. Unfortunately, not all are, but as kids go, these are kind of alright.

The scenery upon leaving Edinburgh was stunning. Speeding along the coast is really nice, especially in this gorgeous weather.

15:00

As we’re about to pull into Perth we need to stop. All platforms are taken. I can live with that because to our right is the Royal Scotsman. I am not really a train-phile, but I know when I see something cool. And this is cool. It oozes distinguished style. After a few minutes, we start rolling into Perth, simultaneously with the Royal Scotsman. Then an announcement “Ladies and gentlemen, we were given Platform 5. I am not sure why because it is a dead end platform. I’ll try and find out, what will happen next.”

15:12

We are 15 minutes late as we start rolling backwards and then forwards again, out of Perth and towards Dunkeld. That is the destination for the mom with the kids. It’s a good thing, because the kids are very bored. And they have spent the best part of the last hour eating and drinking: wonderfully processed cheese, crackers dunked in fresh cheese, yoghurt,  some pre-processed juice, brownies, which left them with sticky chocolate fingers.

Next to us sits a father with his two daughters, one is about 8 the other about 2. The two year old is literally latched onto a Ribena bottle. And when it is not, it is either laughing or eating sweets. No wonder the children are happy. I am also wearing a constant grin, when I overdose on sugar.

15:40

Pitlochy – the scenery has changed and reminds me of Canada. A lot! Dark green woods with tall trees populate high hills. It is stunningly beautiful.

16:15

We’re past Dalwhinnie now and the scenery has changed again. It is still green, but very lush, with grass moving in the wind and sunbleached rocks and creeks. Loads of sheep. Cows. Some horses. We could be in America, only the typical English houses, light grey brick, kind of give away that we’re still in Kansas, … or rather not.

16:50

We have managed to amass 25 minutes of delay as we leave Aviemore. It’s kind of ok for me because I do not have a connection, but I can see some panic-stricken faces around me.

17:25

Inverness – at last! I need the loo. And I want to find out where the bus for the Jacobite tour tomorrow leaves exactly. Thanks to googlemaps, I have a very good idea of where I need to go. I find the bus station and the bus stance without trouble and head towards my B&B next.

18:05

At the B&B. It is wonderfully idyllic on the banks of the River Ness. The sun is shining, the tree-lined street is wonderfully quiet. The water reflects the sun. 

My hosts are lovely, the house is stunning and the room is perfect. It is a small cosy tower room with an ensuite. I decide to go out and explore Inverness.

18:45

Inverness is very... compact. Getting lost here would be a challenge. I have found a supermarket nearby, but they do not have anything I fancy. None of the restaurants I have passed so far does it for me either. I do not want a full-blown dinner. It is rather warm and I had a hot lunch already.

19:02

Bella Italia is my choice for tonight. The restaurant is packed and I have not booked in advance. The waiter asks if it is ok for me to wait 5 to 10 minutes for a table. Since I have my heart set on something on the menu, I agree to wait. More people come in and need to wait for a table as well.

I order a large salad, which turns out to be just what the doctor ordered. It is delicious. To make sure that my sweet tooth is satisfied as well, I order a Lemon cake. Now I am sufficiently full and happy to go back home.

20:03

I am having trouble leaving the restaurant. There is a 10 metre queue occupying even a part of the pavement outside the restaurant. It is peak season. And while Edinburgh had been teeming with Spaniards, Inverness is infested with Germans.

20:15

I turn on the TV for background noise, grab my netbook and continue my Scotland diary.

The Scotland trip - Day 3 - Edinburgh

6:23
Awake with a slight headache from just one large glass of wine. So freakin’ ridiculous. I never had a headache from one glass of wine before.
It is too early to do anything productive. I could go for a walk or write, but my headache spoils even the thought of it. I will just try and sleep some more.

Hovering between being awake and sleep. At least that’s what I think. When I bother to open my eyes to check the time, it’s 8:59. 

Still wearing my headache, I hurry to get dressed to make it to breakfast at the Heights Restaurant on time. The castle is in the gleaming morning light. That’s where I’ll be heading when I have eaten enough to justify the £9.50 for the continental breakfast.

I order coffee and toast, but after returning from the ample cereals & juice counter, neither toast nor coffee have arrived. Yes, it is peak time and I wonder if it is really necessary for the Spanish waitress to chat with Spanish guests for a whopping 15 minutes. I perfectly appreciate customer service and feeling obliged to exchange experiences of a foreign country with people of one’s own nationality, but that is very inconsiderate behavior. Her colleagues seem to think along the same lines, judging from their looks on their faces as they run around to make sure that they deliver orders to the guests. 

I ask another waiter for the coffee. I need it to make my aspirin work faster. 5 minutes later, coffee and toast arrive. Can I recommend the breakfast? Aye! Lovely little croissants and tiny delicious cinnamon swirls. Stay away from the cute little rolls though. I think they are for the horses… not sure which horses because I have not seen any. The knife was not able to cut through the rolls and the only way for me to eat one, was to tear them into tiny chunks and to chew… a lot.

Onto that solid breakfast base, I pop an Aspirin. Then I go back to my room to pick up my reserved ticket for the castle and I am off to start the day in earnest.

10:10

At Edinburgh Castle now. Fokkin' hell – masses of people are heading towards the gates. I dodge the queue because I already have the ticket. The weather is amazing and the castle is quite nice. The views are simply stunning, especially on a day like this. Just make sure you book your ticket in advance, if you can.

Edinburgh Castle

Edinburgh Castle ready for the Tattoo

View from Edinburgh Castle

Edinburgh from Mills Mount

Tattoo stands looking remarkably like a Quidditch pitch

13:00

Edinburgh Castle: tick.
Time to buy the T-Shirt souvenir for my sister. One of the shirts I saw yesterday is still on my mind, so it is worth buying. Then I am off to the Museum on the Mound. It’s free, so it would be a shame to skip it. (Thinking like a true Scot here!)
I see what a million pounds look like. It does not look like much. It’s about 90 kg worth of £20 notes. 

1 million pound in 20 pound notes

After this, it’s time to have some food. I was tempted by the Maison Bleue, but after reading their menu, I decide to pass. It is not mundane enough for my appetite. So I am heading down to Grassmarket to have lunch at Gennaro.
The Penne with Broccoli and Mushrooms and a Lemonade catch my eye. The - rather cute - waiter tempts me into ordering a desert: Panna Cotta and an Espresso. The Panna Cotta is a bit of a letdown, but the Penne is a dream. The bill comes up to £18.70. A perfectly reasonable price, considering that I am smack-dead in the middle of a touristy place during high season.

14:30

I feel like swimming again. While everyone else is out and about, jostling through the crowds of fellow tourists, I am relaxing in the pool. Alone. Watching them sweat and bustle through the square. Idiots! It is much nicer here. I try the sauna, but it is too hot. Cheekily, I use 3 towels, rest on the  lounger and look at the castle until I am bored. Time to go back to my room to take a shower. Then it is time to relax some more on the bed.

18:00
Time to go out and do something. Not sure what yet.

20:15

Ended up doing the free Burke and Hare tour, after roaming the streets for half an hour. The tour was ok. Then I decide to go stingy after spending an awful lot of money on little luxuries like dinners and breakfasts in the posh restaurant. I head to the Tesco around the corner to grab a small pasta salad, a bag of crisps, apple juice and 2 of my 5 a day in the form of melon, mango and blueberries medley. That meal cost me £4.05. Pretty cheap compared to yesterday. And less headache-inducing too, I hope. Time to go back to the hotel room. I turn on the 40” TV and end up watching Top Gear while having dinner. Top Gear is as much fun as usual and today’s dinner, while being anything but fancy, has left me quite full.

22:00

After several longer evenings, I really want to go to sleep at my usual bed-time. Time for ablutions. Hopefully the sandman will make a quick appearance.

The Scotland trip - Day 2 - Edinburgh

6:55

Argh. I am awake. Maybe I should just pretend that I am still asleep. Maybe my body will fall for that ruse...

7:30

... maybe it won’t. I get up, dawdle about, take a shower and get dressed. It's my holidays. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. As long as it is legal.

8:45

I am hungry. And there is a place that I'd like to go and have my breakfast: the pretty popular Elephant House. They open at 9:00. 15 minutes to go.
Me and my stomach grumble in unison. 
By 8:55, there's a throng of hungry looking people loitering around the still closed doors. Some take pictures. Most of them are waiting for the doors to open.

Plaque at the Elephant House

9:02
With a two minutes delay, the doors swing open. The hungry tourists swamp the place quicker than I can say ravenous. Then I realize that my stomach has gone into strop mode. No more grumbling. It does not seem to be all that hungry anymore, because I did not feed it on time. 

A cafe latte and a pain au chocolat will do. The latte is alright. The pain au chocolat is not really inspiring. Chewing cardboard sprinkled with chocolate might be just as tasty. The surroundings are nice though. There is probably a reason for the food not being that good. If it were, it would distract the writers from focusing on the plot and the words. Genuis!

9:30

Now that the blood sugar levels are back to an acceptable level, it is time to get an overview of the city. I am heading straight to the sightseeing buses to do a hop-on hop-off tour. It is the best way to learn as much of a city as possible in very little time. Unless you make the mistake and hop-off at every stop. I don't. I stay put until we're back to the starting point.

11:00
Tour done. Following the tour guide's advice, I tackle the Sir Walter Scott monument. 

Sir Walter Scott monument 

It costs a mere £3. For that price, you get really great views and a fair amount of vertigo. Is it worth it? Yep, but brace yourself, if you climb to the highest platform as it is not for the faint of heart.
The spiraling staircase becomes hideously narrow and I had trouble squeezing through the top door with my backpack.

Sir Walter Scott monument - top floor

View onto Edinburgh from Sir Walter Scott monument

Arthur's seat from the Sir Walter Scott monument

12:00 
Time to be checking out the malls to buy postcards and stamps.

13:00
I am starting to get mega-annoyed by the crowds that are now on the streets. And I can’t be bothered to go for food although my stomach is grumbling... again. Every place is packed. I am heading to corner-shop for a bap and a fizzy drink.

13:30
Retreated to my hotelroom to eat the bap. I have the TV running in the background.

14:30
Bored. Either I go for one of the ghost tours or for a swim in the pool. My feet are protesting with pain as I go to the loo. Alright. Pool wins.

15:30
It is a lovely pool with view onto Edinburgh castle and Grassmarket. 

After 35 minutes of splashing, I enjoy a 10 minute chillout next to pool. Then I head back up to the room to take a proper shower.
I am typing up today's the events while big band plays old classics on Grassmarket.

After that I debate with myself whether to book a table at the Heights Restaurant in this hotel. There's a wedding reception going on around the hotel and I would hate to gatecrash. At the same time, I am curious about the view. In the end, I win and book a table for the evening and for breakfast as well.

16:30
Now that I am kind of rested, I decide to check out the Camera Obscura.

17:45 
Camera Obscura was good fun. Make sure to check out the light tunnel.
It is also another place to get an excellent view of the rooftops of Edinburgh. Now I am walking around in the sun.

Light tunnel - Camera Obscura

View of Edinburgh from Camera Obscura

18:00
As I am browsing through the tourist shops in search of souvenirs, there is the breaking news that Amy Winehouse dead. Sad, but not entirely unexpected news.

My feet are smoking, so I am going back to the hotel to rest for a while. While I am typing the events of the day, my sister and my friend catch me online and we chat. I end up doing three things almost simultaneously: chatting, writing, watching Harry Potter 2 on the telly.

21:00
It is time to get dressed to have dinner. My table is booked for 21:15 and I really want to be on time.


21:15
Got a table with view of the castle in the setting sun. Is this really Scotland? It is divine!

I order a large Pinot Grigio, chicken breast with a haricot bean, black eye pea cassoulet (& chorizo). Desert is a Ricotta cheesecake, lime, tequila jelly and plum compote. Everything is delicious!

22:10 
I am full to burst and my feet have somewhat recovered. I decide to go for a short stroll becausethere is no way I am going to fall asleep with my belly that full. It is a balmy summer night and I take some pictures in a dying twilight.

Edinburgh Castle in the twilight

A Saturday evening - Grassmarket

22:45 
The walking has aided the digestion. But my feet are hurting again. Time to go to bed.

The Scotland trip - Day 1 - Hove to Edinburgh

8:28

I am a little bit too early, but cannot quite help myself. I tell my housemate that I will be leaving in the next few minutes for Scotland. The overall excitement is so great that I promise to write them a card. I am notoriously bad at sending postcards. Buying them is easy enough but I never get around to actually sending them.

I go back to my room, pack the last things into my brand new backpack, tie up the trash, put on my jacket and I am ready to go. There is a bit of a hole in my stomach. The Starbucks frappe mocca has been digested. Time to get some proper breakfast – on the way to the station at Tescos. Food on the go: Tropicana Orange Juice, with the bits and a Jumbo Almond Croissant. And some chewing gum for the heck of it.

8:35

I still need to get the ticket from Hove to Brighton, but Hove station is not very busy. Turns out that I can take a train earlier than expected. And if I have learnt something in my life then it’s the fact that if you are early and have the opportunity to take a means of public transport that is earlier than the one you wanted to take originally, it is wise to do so. Because life is a bitch and loves to slap you in the face. If you attempt to take the one you wanted to take in the first place, you can bet your sorry ass that you will be late.

8:44

The train to Brighton pulls into the station. I hear the following announcement: “The final stop is Brighton. Passengers are advised that this train is not scheduled to have toilets.” Oh dear! What if it does have loos after all? Would that be a bad sign? The devil on my left shoulder tells me to check if it does and then to complain, if there are. The angel on my right shoulder patiently tells me to resist the temptation.

8:47 Brighton

Yay! First leg of the journey was smooth. Then again… it was a 3 minute journey. Granted, I am sure that there are some train companies that would manage to screw this up. The Deutsche Bahn for instance. I really believe that they should have a screwdriver as their logo. I leave it to you to figure out why... 
Anyway, now I have quite some time to kill. My train to London is not due until 9:19. And I will have to wait for this one, as I booked this train specifically to save more than a tenner. I decide to eat my Croissant, sip my OJ and wait for the train to come.

9:10
The platform for the train has just been announced. I am confused. The train looks very much like the Gatwick Express. I double-check my ticket. It’s that train alright. An announcement is made that the train looks like the Gatwick Express, but is, in fact, an ordinary train from Brighton to London Victoria.
Ok, whatever.
I board the train and conquer a seat. This part of the journey, I have done a couple of times. The sun is shining and driving across East Sussex is beautiful, but this time around, the Metro distracts me and I read for a bit, knowing that I have hours of (unknown) scenery ahead.

10:20 London Victoria

It’s not like I am pressed for time, but I have been there and done that about a dozen times. It’s truly not exciting anymore. I head straight for the Underground, glare impatiently at bloody foreigners who don’t know where they are going. Bleugh.

10:45 London King’s Cross

King's X at its most pleasant

Got plenty of time to spare and have started looking at everything around me through the eyes of a tourist. – I think that may be my backpack’s fault. The weather is simply beautiful. Bright sunshine, blue skies. I leave King’s Cross for a short stroll. The first thing I see is a sign saying “Platform 9 ¾”. A trolley seems to disappear half way into the wall. It comes as no surprise that this is a tourist attraction. I smile and head towards St Pancreas. The sky is blue. The red and white building is strikingly beautiful. I spend some time taking pictures. Then I slowly head back to King’s Cross to see if the platform for my train has already been announced. It has not. I wait for another 15 minutes until the platform is announced. The train looks really cool.

Grand Central train

I need to walk a bit to board the first class carriage, but when I look at the seats my heart does a summersault. They are very wide and are somewhat reclined. I sit down and savour the atmosphere. 

Grand Central - lovely!

The next 2 hours are going to be smooth and comfortable for sure. The trolley comes through, offering me a free beverage, complimentary cookies and a free newspaper.

I turn on my iPod, pick the playlist with relaxing music and direct my attention towards the paper since I am pretty familiar with the landscape between London King’s Cross and St Neots. Nevertheless, I cannot quite help myself to look up every now and then.

There is a small surge of memories as we pass Welwyn Garden City and a somewhat bigger surge as we fly past St Neots. 
The landscape is rife with summer. The would outside is made of sunshine, blue skies with some white clouds, golden carpets of wheat, some darker than others because the clouds cast some shadows on the fields. Lush green bushes and trees add even more colour. It is a feast for the eyes, my mind drifts into pleasant relaxation as I sip on coffee, nibble on a cookie and listen to the House MD OST.

Booking first class with Grand Central was a very good idea, even if it means that I have a stopover in York to change trains, because – alas – Grand Central does not go to Edinburgh.

This part of the journey reminds me a of a story by M. R. James which starts as follows "How pleasant it can be, alone in a first-class railway carriage, on the first day of a holiday that is to be fairly long, to dawdle through a bit of English country that is unfamiliar, stopping at every station." (A view from a hill, M. R. James)
Ok, I am not completely alone in the first class carriage and the holiday is not really long either, but everything else is so perfect that these two details do not really matter all that much. There is plenty of adventures ahead, I am sure.

Along the way, there are some markers, made of steel, art noveau style, painted in white, announcing “Edinburgh 250 miles”, “Edinburgh 200 miles”.

13:27 York

The train has arrived on time. I feel a tad bit peckish and decide to step out of the station, because I have an hour to fill. To be on the safe side and to account for delays, I did not book the East Coast train to Edinburgh, which would have left the station 40 minutes earlier than my Cross Country train. Without giving it much thought, I just go for a small walk… on the York town wall. And then I head back to the station to eat a kid’s meal at Burger King. I needed something warm, but not too filling.

14:33
The Cross Country train towards Edinburgh is a minute late. Seriously, since we’re neither in Japan, Switzerland nor Norway, no one cares. A minute is nothing. No need to hang your head in shame. Anything over 5 minutes though… death sentence. (That would be a way to deal with overpopulation: forcing stupid people become train conductors and then OFF with their head if it is late.)

Anyway, to save money, I had booked the quiet coach, which was expensive enough at £39.50, rather than first class at even more quid pro space.

When booking a ticket for the quiet coach online, it says “Are you sure you want to book the quiet coach? Mobile phone, loud music and conversations are a big no-no, so you’d better book the normal coach, if you want to be allowed to breathe.”

Well, I deliberately chose the quiet coach. And guess what. My fellow passengers probably did not. 

So, now I am squeezing into my reserved seat in the quiet coach. It really feels claustrophobic after the splendid first class that Grand Central offers.
I plug my headphones into my ears and turn on the iPod. 
Three rows further back, an lady starts talking to her friend. I turn up the volume to max, but Jim Dale does not stand a chance. Three people around me have finished their – rather nicely smelling – Cornish Pasties and squeeze the paper wraps into little balls. I can hear this perfectly well. Two rows ahead of me are two kids who annoy their parents with stupid questions. Well, I am not sure if the parents are annoyed, but I am, that’s for sure. The lady behind me continues to ramble on incessantly.
What on earth is going on? I have noise-cancelling ear-plugs and yet my audio book is drowned out by the racket that people around me make.

I wonder if “quiet” has a different meaning to them. I am just a bloody foreigner after all. Maybe the Oxford English Dictionary offers two entries for “quiet”. One for English speaking citizens “quiet - annoy everyone and their mama with your piercing voice and boring stories that no one gives a flying f**k to hear but everyone is too polite to actually say so”.

The entry for foreigners is “quiet - making as little noise as possible”.

Twenty minutes into the ride from hell, I give up.

I pick up my bag, head for the next carriage to find a less loud space. On my way there, still in the quiet coach, I also see that there is a party of six people who have put a cake with a candle on one of the tables to celebrate a birthday. They are loud, but their noise had been cancelled by Lady Blah-Blah and the two kids who would greatly benefit from realising that silence is golden.
As I am walking through the other carriages, all rather filled to capacity, I realise that each of them is nowhere near as loud as the supposedly “quiet” coach.

After fighting my way through the whole train, I have tracked down the conductor. I tell him that I booked the quiet coach because I wanted to have a quiet journey, but it turned out to be the loudest of the lot. He does not seem too bothered. Then again, he is hiding on the opposite part of the train.
I ask him how much an upgrade into first class – which was heavenly quiet, despite having a family with two very young children – would cost me.

He tells me that this would amount to £85. I shake my head and then he reconsiders, offering me a ticket for £49.50 since I do not need a ticket from York to Edinburgh but from Newcastle to Edinburgh. Being faced with paying almost 50 quid and spend the next 90 minutes in quiet and spacious first class or returning to riff-raff country, I choose to pay up and be done with it.

Goodness me! It is so worth it! The train attendant passes at regular intervals and asks if I would like something to eat or to drink. I can stretch my legs… not as far as with Grand Central, but considerably more than in wood & decibel class. Even when I have to give up my seat to a lady who had reserved it and go and sit with a rather, uhm large, Highlander in his kilt, who smelt faintly of sour cabbage, my mood is still miles higher than it would have been in the not quite quiet coach.
The rest of the journey is pure bliss all the way from Newcastle to Edinburgh, past Alnmouth and Berwick-upon-Tweed where the train follows the coastline and gives me picturesque glimpses of the sea hitting rocks or rolling onto sandy beaches.

18:05

I have found the hotel but almost died of a heart attack on my way there. 

In preparation of the trip, I had printed out the fastest way to get from Waverley Station to the hotel. And it all looked very easy on Googlemaps. Since I had never been to Edinburgh, I had not really considered that some parts can get rather steep... and that "The News Steps" are indeed steps and it is not just a few of them. Since I am also carrying a backpack of about 20 Kilos, it took me a good 5 minutes to recover from the climb.

18:30

Checked into the hotel, inspected my room, which is pretty large. After freshening up, I head back out because I need cash and something to eat. And I would like to watch HP7 Part2. The idea of watching the last film where it all began is intriguing. So I am heading towards the cinema. On the way, I see a bank and fill up my wallet. Since it is closed already, I cannot rob it, so I use the cash machine to get the cash legally. 
I check the film times and see that I can fit a meal before the show starts. Right around the corner, I see Illegal Jacks which fits the bill quite nicely because I need still need to do something illegal today.

19:20

The chilli-con carne has started to make its way through my digestive system. I am off to the cinema.

22:30

Back in my hotel room and quite knackered. I turn on the TV and see that there are breaking news about a bombing and a shooting in Norway. What the heck is wrong with people these days?